Christmas Chaos

The lack of blogs recently is largely due to the fact that I'm either running around like a headless chicken, impressing Pete's relatives, dealing with my own family and trying to catch up on some sleep. It's been a busy few days, families and friends all trying to make some time available and catch up. But it's been fun. :)

Not much to "report" on lately. The weight loss plan is on hold thanks to Chirstmas. *sigh*. Thesis isn't going anywhere either thanks to Christmas. So hopefully everything will resume its normal schedule once the holidays are over. But I won't bet on it. :P

Slacker

Yeah I think I've started adopting the holiday spirit, stopped working even that half day. (I still work a few hours a day when I can. Christmas shopping and all, and my brother decided to get me to do things like shopping for him since he's working full time. Go figure)

I've started writing a story. Probably gonna be a short novel sorta length. Something that keeps my head thinking I guess. I like things like that. Pete read a bit of it and he thought it's good, then again of course he's going to be biased.

Christmas shopping all done now. JUst have to do the last minute things and I'll be sweet... *sigh*

Then it's New Years time. :P

Working the week before Christmas

The engineering building is so quiet. So very quiet.

It's scary, even the cafe is closed. I have to walk
outside to get my coffee fix. The toilet lights were
off. It's like no one expect me to be workign here
today.

Well, no one except my supervisor and psuedo boss.
Bummer.

So far for the past two hours I'min uni, I've written
one paragraph, played a few games of spider solitair,
changed my saving acocunt to a plan which give me
better rates, read and edit a bit of my story, had
half of my lunch, and replied emails.

*sigh*. REALLY don't feel like working man...

The problem with electronic library

My psuedo-boss sent in 3 papers references to me today.
Which is actually a good thing. I can't do my side of
the research without knowing much about the clinical
side of things. The paper references looks innocent
enough, so one of them was written in 1985 but then again
that shouldn't matter. So I click on my trusty "Uni
Library" link and clickety-click-click my way through the
electronic journal site.

Ok, they don't have the journal all the way back to '85
(that's sad! IEEE has electronic journal all the way back!).
And the other one missed the volume I want (well, it has ONE
issue of the volume and alas! It's not the one I need). The
third is even stranger. The pager number is there (EXACT one
too, like both the starting and ending page) but the contents
is different.

So I go back to the normal search site, hoping we'll have the
paper version in the medical library. I can pretend to be a
doctor while doing so! Okay maybe not. But as fate would have
it, the journals are only available in electronic format.
*sob*

I wonder what would happen in like 100 years of time. I wonder
if ALL library would be electronic. You just subscribe to some
sort of library and you can search and download information as
you like. Would it ever replace paper?

And what happen in 100 years time if they don't read some of
the storage system we use now? Don't tell me that it'd never
happen. It's already hard to find something that read 5" disc,
let alone things like punch cards. The information is bound
to be useful someday. I'm trying to find something 20 years
ago (I was still alive then!) and already am having problems.

I'm an old fashion sort of girl. I like reading on papers. In
fact most of the elctronic papers I read were printed out
already. I can't stand reading e-book. But one of these days,
maybe I'd have to be converted.

I'm just hoping it won't be anytime soon.

9 days til Christmas

... and I still haven't finished Christmas shopping. Yikes! One more to go.

Been organising catch up and whatnots. So reasonablly busy. Plus the literature review. It's not going TOO great but it's not looking too bad either I suppose.

Ah well. Spider solitaire, then work :P

Good idea and bad timing

Thought of a good idea, which may involve using blog as a "game". Although coming up with a good idea when I'm supposedly busy is never a good thing. I'll see about it, I might implement it later.

Dear lord did I just used the work "implement" without thinking much?

10 days til Christmas people! I guess I better start writin Christmas cards soon huh...

Eek!

Caffeine Overdrive

It's been a lazy day, I've decided to compensate for it by caffeine, in hopes that the caffeine would actually speed up my train of thoughts.

Well, so far all it's doing is... nothing really. Maybe I'm immuned to caffeine already. The real test would come when I start writing. Last time I was drinking V when I was writing my final year project report and I had sentences that ran for 3 lines straight.

Okay, after I stopped being distracted, I'll get to work. :)

/Can you blame me? It's almost Christmas! :P

The LONG road of writing a literature review...

I've finally started to write the litrature review.

The table of contents is more or less done, now I just ahve to write it all in. Problem being there are still a few paper that I haven't really read. But that's okay, I can just skim though those and jot down some main points and make some comments along the way...

It's going to be a LONG week :P

It's that time of year again!

Christmas shopping is a pain in the butt. Especially if you're anything like me who can't quite quit worrying about things, so in the processing of organising things sometimes it's hard to not give away what you're getting people. I'm doing pretty well so far... my brother's present is the tough one but meh, I'll get there.

Allergy reaction at an all time high again. It's like this last summer too, and maybe I AM allergic to that sunscreen, and once the allergy starts it goes on for quite a while. It's a viscious cycle: skin gets itchy, scratch, skin gets sensitive, any little thing will trigger the next reaction, rinse and repeat. Think I'm on a strictly no chocolate diet again. *sigh*

Stupid allergy!!!

The Evil Network Program

Yes, so it WAS Novell that cleaned my folder, and it did it again. T_T

ALL my stuff in the "PhD Thesis" folder: Gone.

*Sob*

For the whole day I was just attempting to restore thing, reconcile all the reference papers on the computer, and tomorrow I'll ahve to read a few papers and summarise things again.

*sigh*

Wish me luck...

Spider Solitaire

ARGH! Honestly spider solitaire is addictive! I've been playing about an hour of it everyday, instead of actually working. It wasn't too bad when I was playing on the easy level. But once I thought I'll try the medium one, it's getting out of hand. People said I should try free cell but it's probably just a little bit too complicated for me. :P

But I really need to figure out a way to stop being addicted to it...

I think I can. I think I can.

Just back from the holiday. It was a very good break indeed. Although the work that's been waiting for me once I get back isn't exactly exciting. Trying to summarise as many papers as I can now for this week... yikes.

Not to mention that my allergy came back after one day in the sun. This is getting absurd. But it seems to be dying down today. Which is good. Think if I stay home today tomorrow I should be fine again.

I'm just gonna try my best this week. I think I can do it. So long as my mind don't decide to drift off again. (Curse this short attention span thing!)

Early summer holiday!

Since I'm more than likely not getting major time off this Christmas, I'm taking an early "long weekend" off to Pete's bach. :D This should be fun. :)

I'm just gonna do a little bit more reading, than I'll finish packing and off I go! Yay!!

The mystery that is the missing files

Okie... so the music files aren't the only ones that
are missing. I still don't know WHY that happen, but
I guess I'll just scan my laptop for spyware too...

I'm going away to Pete's bach tomorrow. YAY! Of course
before that I have to meet with supervisor and psuedo
boss as well. But the meeting today with supervisor
went well. So that's good. I'll see my psuedo boss
tomorrow just to let him know what I've been up to. And
hopefully I can go home for lunch and pack and stuff
before 4 then I'm off for the weekend! YAY!

*fingers crossed* let's hope the weather will be kind
to us. :)

Music Crisis

ARGH!!! I plucked my laptop into the uni network forgetting
that I've shared my folder when I was at home, so uni ever
so kindly deleted all my mp3s on my laptop. ARGH! Now I'm
stuck at uni with no music, besides the "sample music" that
came with windows. Even those I have to use them VERY
carefully so I don't get sick of it. I was gonna go to ECM
and buy a new CD to just relief this a little but even that
is closed for Christmas and New Year. ARGH! I can't work
without music! Heck I can barely live without music. ARGH!!!

Whatever am I supposed to do!? *sob*

/even caffeine can't fill the void. *sob*

The need for a break

Fact: human perform better after a nice rest. Productivity normally increase once a body has been resting and their mind refreshed. With that in mind, I'm taking a long weekend break. :P

Of course I'm going to bring some work with me. It's virtually impossible to get away from work when you're doing research and the topic has to be constantly at the back of your head. As a friend pointed out to me very kindly, there's no holiday for the postgrads. Readings aren't going to analysis themselves. But it'd still be good to take some time off to somewhere else and a nice change. :)

I spent the morning in court because of jury summon. As it turned out it's not all too bad because there was only one case and the guy pleaded guilty at the end, so no one needs to be there. Isn't that cool? :)

Ok, with Beatles playign in the background, I'm going back to work so I won't have to take too much work with me to the trip :P

I’m pushing an elephant up the stairs

Holy crap! It's not until I try to search on the other guys that I realise I'm going to end up having A LOT of reviews to do. :|

Anyway, Currently onto the team 2 or 4 that I was going to focus on. All the other ones I'm just going to group under their listings, unless of course if they actually done something really really different, which I doubt very much. But only 2 more weeks on this to go... eek and a half! Hopefully it'd all be done by then.

Lunch break, Dr. Phil, then back to work. :P

Dreams

I slept in a littel today. And being stressed out as
I normally am, I kept dreaming that I'm waking up.
It's really tiring. I'll "wake up", and then realise
I'm just dreaming that I woke up, so I'll "wake up"
from the dream and get up, and try to varify that this
is real, and when I convince myself that it's real,
I'll find that it's still a dream. Then I'll wake up
from that dream, and the cycle continues.

Once I really got up I got really paranoid about whether
this is still a dream. And convinced that there's no way
in knowing. When I was in the dream I thought that was
real too. Sure there were things that now I woke up I
wonder why I didn't pick up at all. But when I was in the
dream it made sense. I even felt pain when I bumped into
the bookshelves in the dream, and decided that this pain
can't be a dream.

So maybe right now I'm typing this in my dream. Who knows.
Or maybe you're just dreaming about reading my blog. :)

The battle is ON!

Aim: to get my literature review done before the end
of year, and convince supervisor that I need to actually
do more research before I can decide how to go about my
project.

Progress: Just starting. Getting there... slowly.

In other news: I tried to fit back into the pair of jeans
I "grew out of" today. It's still a wee bit tight but it
sorta fits! horray!

/a little less conversation a little more work please...

Someday you're the pigeon, someday you're the statue

And Today I think I'm definitely the statue. In fact I think for the whole of this week I'll be a statue.

The week is going to be ridiculously busy, got tonnes of little things to do. And tonnes of not so little things. *sigh* If I survive I ight tell and tale some days.

Back to work I go...

Until you spread your wings, you'll never know how far you can walk

Curse it. I feel like writing another murder mystery. Again. Not as a party, but as a novel.

Everyone, all at once now, "Ha. Ha."

It's just that I got all these ideas in my head and if it's not for my complete lack of literary skill I would probably start writing. Short stories. Novels. Something.

It's not so much that I can't write. It's more to do with the fact that I'm so extremely careless that sometimes what I write just don't make sense. Like how I mixed up words in my head. It's not even conscious. It's like my hand has a mind of its own or something. Maybe that's what
automatic writing is about.

Maybe I'm a psychic.

There's also the fact that I don't really have much of an attention span. Not to mention that I'm interested in almost everything. Recently with the painting and all (AND actually get pretty good review from people), and I want to move onto jewellery making. And now there's the writing another murder thingy.

I wonder when, if ever, I'll start being interested in my thesis.

Swimming in a sea of infomation

The lecturer who took my neural network paper said we need datamining because we live in a sea of information.

But DAMN! Someone should've warned me before I started the literature review! Man... I'm trying to sort it out is some sort of order... but it's almost impossible...

Wish me luck?

Possibly Maybe

I'm taking a break from thesis work today. The art project needs urgent attention, mainly because Pete just found out last night that the art fair starts today. Didn't really think the set we've done is the best work, and besides we want to at least get one stand alone one there. So I've decided to get painting today.

It's not going too bad. I've just finish painting the packground, so teh poem should be able to go on it in about an hour. After the paint has dried and everything's set. :) The problem is still the fact that I can't rule lines on acrylic on canvas. Well I CAN, I just can't rub them out. And for a calligrapher to work without lines is mighty cruel.

Anyway. I'm off reading a little. Tomorrow I'll be back with more thesis update goodness. Maybe. I think. I hope.

Pagan poetry

Title has NOTHING to do with what I'm writing, it just happens to be playing on the computer when I'm writing and it sounds cool. :P

Anyway. I've successfully wasted almost the whole day now. Okay, it really depends on the definition of waste. I've done some work of some sort but it's just not research related. My ferret attention prevent me from concentrating on reading today. It didn't help that the papers I'm supposed to be reading is so incredibly dry.

I've decided to work on the "art project" instead and have been sketching and doing words layout today. Well, this afternoon anyway. Still need to wait til Pete have a look and approve the design and colour and all. But it's looking pretty good. And I'm only hoping teh painted version would look good too, seeing I'm more of a sketcher than a painter. Paintbrush just doens't like me.

Hmm.. back to attempting to read? I guess so.

Who will save your soul

Early post today so I can free up my afternoon to finish reading all the papers I have in the "unread" pile. :)

Got quite a lot to say today. I'll try to break them into bits and pieces.

A friend told us that he's decided to join the Christian Brothers last night. I wouldn't say I was shocked, because I wasn't THAT shocked. Although I would've thought that friend is a bit too liberal to be joining the brothers. Then again, Pete was saying that not all of them are conservative fanatic and since New Zealand is quite small. Who said young people aren't attracted to the vocation anymore?

That said, it's interesting to see how people view Christians. (I know technically we're Catholic but I'll use the word Christians here as any followers of Christ.) Partly I suppose is to do with the way Christianity is preached is some cases. Ok maybe Jack Chick is a wee bit over the top. But then again, the people who's approached me to preach Christianity all seem to be using the same theme: follow Christ and that's the ONLY way to salvation. I have a few things against that sort of thinking. (Oh boy Vatican is gonna have something to say about that now aren't they?)

Firstly: I don't believe that God doesn't want a "personal relationship" with us "by default". They made it sound like God won't let us even get close to him because He's all high there and won't let us to close to him. Which part of the lost son parable did they miss? If us, imperfect human, can love our offspring unconditionally (well, more or less), don't you think the almighty and all loving God, whom created us in his own image, would do the same?

And then there's the fact that people keep talking about following Christ, accept Christ as your saviour, and then go and condemn other people? This is normally when I say "Hello? Which part of "love thy neighbour" don't you understand?" Christianity shouldn't be about this "exclusive club". I normally can't help but to laugh when I saw Jack Chick depicting all Muslim as evil terrorists. I have a few friends who're Muslim and they're absolutely lovely people. And here people are, just go and condemn people without even TRYING to understand their religion and beliefs, on the basis that there are a few fundamentalists with a different belief then them?

Don't even start with me about the "mighty Jesus in Heaven casting people away in the lake of fire". If I recall correctly, Jesus was the one who didn't judge anyone and hang around with the "sinners" to let them know that God is all loving, and has never abandoned them. Lake of fire? Where was that in the bible?

Honestly: live out what you preach. It's all about love and accepting people even if they're different from you. The world would be a much better place if that can happen.

Okay, onto the next item: Today marks the 10 months mark for me and Pete. :) Some people said that after half a year the "honeymoon" period will be over but it doesn't seem that way. Maybe it's because we're just so perfect for each other. It's uncanny, how the two of us never notice how much we have in common, and the fact that we have the same value and view on so many things. I suppose maybe that's what "soul mate" means? It's like finding a best friend. It's like when pieces of the puzzles just click together. It's like when the riddles are solved.

Emotional landscapes,
They puzzle me,
Then the riddle gets solved,
And you push me up to this

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,
Is where I want to be.

Borrowed lyrics from Bjork's Joga

Okay, now that I made almost everyone reading this sick, I think my work here is done and I'm back to reading. :)

--
P.S.: If you're reading this today baby: Happy decalunaversary :D

Full speed ahead!

Okay, so after trying to get the lit review up and running, this is getting quite interesting. The amount of literature is, as usual, overwhelming. But then lucky there is Silyn-Roberts book on how to go about it. Sometimes it really does help to read somethign other people put out to help with my research.

And my weightloss program: it's actually going pretty well. At least I think so anyway. I'm trying to either loss 2 kg in the next 3 weeks, or at the very least fit into my jeans again. :) Wish me luck!

/back to the exciting world of reading.

No pain... No pain! o_O

Yesterday was a fun day. I had to live without internet for more than half the day. It's not too bad since I wasn't really doing much research by that time but it's still really annoying. I was already showing signs of internet and email withdrawal. It was horrible! And they're telling me that it'd happen again today for "at most 30 minutes". Wish me luck.

Yesterady I also went for a jog with my brother. He's sadistic as a trainer. Although I have to admit that it does help a lot to have someone pushing me. But man... THE PAIN!

I wrote a little short poem today. Mainly because I need something to put on my ICQ info and none of the lyrics seems good.

Everything you know is about to crumble down
All you have left is evidence that doesn't hold
In this place where darkness is the only absolute
You stay strong and create the greatest story ever told

Besides all that, life isn't all too bad. I've given up the GUI for a while to sort out my literature review and start sorting out all these papers I've read and sorting them into different categories and all. If I'm lucky I might start writing too. But I doubt it.

Progress report

I thought the little GUI application should be done in a few days. Now there's even more obstacle. *sigh* Hopefully I can get something by the end of this week. Besides I should probably start looking into writing a literature survey sometimes, as a friend of mine pointed out.

The weight loss plan is still going strong. I think. I'm not a proper nutritionist so I wouldn't know how much my meal is actually helping, but at least I'm eating a lot more vege and generally cutting my carb intake. Hopefully it'd work. :P The good thing about this is that I do generally feel a lot better. Which actually affected my work habit to some extent. So go me!

Okay, more attempt to get the GUI working, otherwise it's more reading and writing instead. :)

Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C

Day three of this attempt to loss weight, think my body is finally catching up to my plan and putting up a fight. This afternoon I'm starting to feel slightly dizzy thanks to being hungry. But I'm not giving up. No I won't. I won't give in so easy I will fight it to the last. :P

Anyway, research. It's going sweeeeeeeet. Well, at least the GUI tool coding part of it is. But there's still a lot to be done. although I think most of the basics have now been coded already. Which is really good.

Recently I've hooked on the Cookie Monster song for some strange reason. Probably because of the performace from a friend of mine while he was very drunk. (In fact he claim he can't remember much from that night. I'm not surprised.) Pete and I just can't quite stop laughing whenever we hear the song. So the logical thing to do would of course be downloading the song and play it over and over again. I think I need help.

I might give into the temptation and have a banana... :|

/C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.

Coding again

I finally got the go ahead from my supervisor to spend 2 weeks coding for a nice pretty looking GUI which helps analysing the data and display it. Yay! So these two weeks I'm going to work pretty hard to get it all nice and pretty looking.

On the dieting/exercising: All the walking yesterday was pretty good. And I managed to eat "healthier". I'm not too sure if what I ate today was quite healthy enough, but then again the dumplings I had shouldn't be too bad. Afterall mum made them, and she put more vege than meat there. Should be reasonably low carb, and even if there's quite a bit of meat there, I kinda need the protein considering I'm not a milk drinker. Gonna try to get my jogging routine up and running again. (excuse the pun :P) So hopefully I can fit into my clothes again. *sigh*

Okay, back to GUI coding. Call me insane, but I think I'm kinda enjoying this. :P

The Ultimate Weightloss Challenge

This is it. I can't even fit into pants I bought last year.
Last friggin year! I have no idea WHY I just gained that
much weight this year. Okay, maybe I have some idea, and it
has to do with me not going into uni to work anymore hence
losing my daily walk from Mt Eden to uni. But still! This is
scary. So here's the plan: eat less, or more importantly,
eat healthy, and try to get my ass out there and start
jogging again.

Petey keeps worrying that I might turn to the other extreme
and gone anorexic. In a way, I'm a little bit worried too.
Butthen hopefully so long as I'm mindful of it, and make sure
I don't over do the diet (and still keep eating) I should be
fine. I hope. Besides: I doubt I can give up food myself. :P

For the past two days I've been doing pretty well diet wise.
I'm not overeating anymore, and I'm not eating til I can more
just because it's something I like to eat. Exercise wise...
well... I walked around the block if that counts? But I'm
walking to and from Mt Eden today anyway, that should help.

Anyway, as for my research: it's getting somewhere. I'm hoping
the laptop can be here soon so I can actually take the thing to
work and show people what I'm done so far and how things are
looking and all. But alas: getting things done around here is
still very much a long painful journey. I'm hoping it'd get
there before christmas, but somehow I'm not too optimistic
anymore...

Anyway, heaps of things to read, and coffee is starting to kick
in. I might come into uni more often this week. Hopefully. It
still depends on laptop, especially now that I'm moving onto the
whole data analysis stage. Not having a computer fast enough to
work with things tends to make life a wee bit difficult.

/All reading and no coding makes Lisa a dull girl

Guy Fawkes!!

I always thought Guy Fawkes was a funny idea: we celebrate the fact that someone tried to blow up the government house by playing fireworks. But then who cares, as long as you have pretty fireworks to play with, right? Ah... see I bet your father didn't explain to you that playing with fireworks is like burning money. Mine did. Well, sort of. Maybe he hasn't but that would be the kind of thing he'd tell me. I still think I grow up to be the stingy bitter person I am today because of him. Mostly because of him. The rest I'll blame it on the fact that PhD funding isn't all that much.

Anyway, spent the past two days playing with data. It's quite amazing when you finally get to play with so much data that it actually use up ALL of the computer's memory. I feel like a grown up. You don't ever have the feeling that you're doing REAL work and not just dummy play problems until you get to the point where it eats up all the computer's memory. It's almost beautiful. Although I don't think my computer is too happy at the moment.

Anyway, Back to playing with data (aka research). I don't know about tonight yet: was gonna go to Guy Fawkes with Pete's family tonight but apparently that's cancelled. Damn. And I went and bought a box of fireworks including one where fireworks shoots out of a chicken's ass. (I thought his little brother might like it...) Oh well, I think some friends are going on Saturday anyway and I might just have to save my chicken ass firework until then.

It's the end of the world as we know it

'Tis a sad day.

The bully has yet won again, and the sad fact is a whole nation is so blind and narrow minded that they don't even know what he's done to the country.

I can't believe that some people just can't see what the rest of the world is seeing. They all know that he's a joke and to let him be a leader is a mockery to the country. The rest of the world can all see it. No one likes him. In fact, no one even like the country. The arrogance and the ignorance is almost embarrassing. Okay, I can't say EVERYONE fits that stereotype. I do know quite a few decent people from the land of the evil chimp who knows actually see what the rest of the world sees. It's the big bully in the international playground. They have been brainwashed by the media. It's a bit like, dare I say it, Nazi Germany.

No one ever gives the rights to anyone to claim to be the leader of the world. And even if they do, it's definitely not the place where it has the highest crime rates and full of other assorted social problems. Why they think they're superior is beyond me. I mean, just because they're decided invading another country because they may or may not have some unknown weapon (and definitely oil) does not make them the leader. Just because they're oblivious as to what the rest of the world is like right now does not make them the right to claim as the superior superpower. Their power comes in military, how they will just go invade should they THINK the other country need rescuing.

All this come from the lack of the sense of world view. I suppose when you have a big country like that you don't need to go outside. But how that differs from some kids staying at home all their lives and claim they're better than everyone else I wouldn't have a clue. To the people over in that other corner of the world who actually thought about their votes and lost: don't feel too bad, you put up a good fight. But the country on the whole still need to see the bigger picture and actually realise what a mess they're in. In fact, you know what? The whole country need to go on Dr. Phil.

/Now understand why talk shows are only really successful in that country which shall remain nameless.

Be afriad. Be very afriad.

As of the time of writing, vote counting still go on somewhere on the other side of the globe. Right here in this little country known as New Zealand, we can all but wait and hope US citizen have enough sense to vote for the right president.

Don't give me any crap about how it's not my business since I'm not an American. Who get to be the American president could affect the rest of the world. Well, ok, rephrase: if Bush is there for another term the world's going into chaos.

My friend mentioned he can't believe the propaganda that's going on in US. You would've thought that sort of thing only happen in some sort of country under a dictatorship. The media is so skewed that it's basically propaganda. They have no idea what's go on outside their country, and that's just sad. Having said that, it's not all of them that are clueless. I know some American friends who's actually apologised on behave on their country just because how big of a joke they know they are.

But what can I do? I even try to submit an anticle about how the whole world KNOWS we can't have Bush there for another term to fark and they won't greenlight it. Grrrrrr. So all I can do is sit here, and be afriad...

PLEASE don't let Bush win.... :|

Motivational speech

Talking to fellow PhD students is always motivational. They'll
tell you that it's only going to get less interesting and
workload will only decrease. It's all down hill from the day
you enroll. All enthusiasm still survived after the first few
months or so will slowly die. I can't wait. *sarcasm*

I made an effort today to tell myself I need to work harder. I
shall work full days rather than half days, and I shall make an
effort to go into uni/psuedo-work more than twice a week. And
then I found out my usual parking spot around uni has work going
on, and parking is once again a race against time and you have
to get there ridiculously early to get a spot. The work on its
own is ridiculous anyway: they're building a carpark inside a
carpark. o_O It's an office carpark to start with and now
they're building a carpark there. Go figure.

Okay, time to get motivational. I'm going to get some V. :P

It's like a journey I just don't have the map for

It's scary to read old diary entries, not so much because of all those heartbreak I've written there, but more because how immature I was, and not realising that I was immature. I know, I was young back then and all. But some of the things I've written not so long ago still sound immature. I'm not too sure whether I've just grown in these time, or I'm still very immature and not realising it until I stand back to see it objectively.

To tell the truth sometimes I'm very scared that I think I'm not growing up. I don't know how to handle most things and that scares me. Honestly sometimes I wonder how this whole life thing works. Maybe I'm still young. Still, I'm supposed to be an adult now. It's not like I'm still in high school.

Anyway, immature or not, there's still research to be done. I better be off...

Motivational speech

Talking to fellow PhD students is always motivational. They'll tell you that it's only going to get less interesting and workload will only decrease. It's all down hill from the day you enroll. All enthusiasm still survived after the first few months or so will slowly die. I can't wait. *sarcasm*

I made an effort today to tell myself I need to work harder. I shall work full days rather than half days, and I shall make an effort to go into uni/psuedo-work more than twice a week. And then I found out my usual parking spot around uni has work going on, and parking is once again a race against time and you have to get there ridiculously early to get a spot. The work on its own is ridiculous anyway: they're building a carpark inside a carpark. o_O It's an office carpark to start with and now they're building a carpark there. Go figure.

Okay, time to get motivational. I'm going to get some V. :P

But what do I know...

I'm feeling a wee bit philosophical, mushy, or whatever state I'm in that I can't pin point. So I'm going to rant about the topic that seems to be on everyone's mind, the issue that everyone seems to have problem with, the single thing that technology that still can't help to improve, and probably would never be able to: Love.

/It's almost ironic that I'm listening to Courtney Love while writing this. Anywayy.

Is there rules for love? I sometimes wonder when you hear all these relationship "expert" telling people how they should behave in a relationship. All these "trend" you can look for, and all these things you have to do. Days after days you see on MSN singles looking for love (or sex. For some people it's the same thing.), articles offering advice to look for Mr./Ms. Right. You keep thinking something this trivial should be natural for us. We've survived generations after generations, surely we should've got the hand of it now, right?

Okay, so we haven't. Where are we going wrong. If I could answer that question don't you think I should've written a book and earn lots of money now? (And you know how much money you can earn for writing books like that. Ask Dr. Phil.)

I still think it's all to do with the pursuit of happiness. Once you have two people who understand that and work towards the same goal, then it's all set. It's never as easy as that is it? No two people will truly have the same goal, and the same outlook on everything in life. Finding the person most compatible to you becomes the biggest problem.

And then there's the age old problem of loving someone who you know isn't going to get you anywhere. Been there, done that. Why does that happen anyway? Surely you know it's not where happiness lies, yet our heart just kinda stuck to that dream.

And how do we meet that someone? Personally, I think fate would bring you that person, but then again, maybe not. I always oppose to knowing someone for the sake of dating, reason why I tend to only go out with good friends of mine and then leave a big mess. So who's right?

Personally: I don't believe in people changing. Well, at least not changed by someone else. You can change yourself and sometimes that change might even stick and you might even be more comfortable with the new you. But then again, I always just be who I'm most comfortable with. (scary isn't it? Just "Choose who you want to be") If you don't expect anything to change, stand back and look at the picture and can be happy with it, you have yourself a keeper. Don't ever just "settle" because you never know when your perfect match may come by, and if you're "settled" with someone just out of the fear of loneliness, maybe that's your chance of happiness gone.

Well, just my thoughts. Of course if I've known anything about it, I would be out there earning big bucks like Dr. Phil is... :P

Quick blog

Gonna try my best to work as much as I can today. I'll even try not to complain about the stats in those medical journal. Wish me luck!

Paranoid Andriod

I've been feeling this sense of fear for a while now. I can't quite explain it.

It's one of those intangible feeling I've got. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's as if I think something bad is about to happen. Exactly what the something bad is I can't quite feel it.

Maybe it's just the PhD project. I've always feel like I can do better. Even though no one ever tells me that I'm not good enough. Am I being too harsh to myself? Possibly. But then again, almost no one has ever tell me that that I'm not trying hard enough, and yet I never really feel like I'm doing enough work. Ever since I was a kid I would force myself to do my very best. At the same time I know that sometimes I'm just putting up a front to fool people into thinking I know what I'm doing. Than again: aren't we all doing that in a sense or another?

If you ask me whether I think I know my field, I really wouldn't know what to say. I can't say I'm an expert in it, in fact I refuse to say that I'm good at anything at all (partly because I don't believe I am good at anything.) Take signal processing. There's a lot I don't understand, and a lot that I wish I can understand better. But for some reason I still got an A for the paper. Does that show how flawed the granding system is? Or does it show that there's a lot about myself that I don't know?

Sometimes I really wonder if my brain is doing more than I am consciously aware of. Sometimes Pete will catch me in deep thought, and when he ask me what I'm thinking I wouldn't have a clue. I know I was thinking. This sort of background thinking goes on a lot. Maybe the neurons are just making random connections, or maybe there is a cunning plot going on against me at the back of my head.

I'm thinking too much again...

Motivation... or the lack of it

So unmotivated...

I think I really need to set some sort of rules for my days. Like actually work a full day rather than spending half of it daydreaming. It's not as easy as it sounds, my attention span is about as long as a ferret's, and my train of thoughts goes off rail most of the time.

Maybe I should force myself to read at least 2 papers a day and otherwise I won't eat... That might do it...

Rain

After a beautiful long weekend, the weather's turned crap again. It's not really unexpected anyway, seeing this IS Auckland afterall. But then again, I still enjoy the occasional sunshine you know.

Still don't know why I can't work while it's raining. It's like something's not right. I don't know whether it's because it depresses me, or whether it's the perfect weather for sleeping and nothing else. Nevertheless, I think I'd have to get my ass into uni today at some stage anyway.

Lazy sort of day again. Ah well.

Energy level: low

Slept in again.

I suppose I should really try to get some work done today. Although part of me just really can't be bothered. What's the point really? I've been running those simulations for a few times, without a proper set of data and a specific goal there isn't much I can do.

Might go and do some painting instead today. Just to get the thing started.

VERY low energy day today, I know.

Dude, where's my hair?

I did it.

I went and have a hair cut.

Nothing major. I went in thinking I'll just trim the front and cut off all those split ends and what did they do? They cut my hair shorter than I expect them to. As usual.

Anyone ever realise that they almost always cut it too short? Isn't that a dumb thing to do? People will have to wait longer until they go and get a hair cut again. And yet they STILL do it. Maybe they just don't want to work. But really, what's with that? Now I have to wait another 5 months til my next hair cut. I want my hair down to my waist again. It just looked so cool.

Now it's going to take another year or so to grow it that long again. *sigh*

What's that engineer doing with a paintbrush?

Well, playing around with Matlab has proven to be kinda boring, mainly because there's not much data to play with. I might actually clean my desk in my room today, and actually start trying out some painting or something.

I'm not too sure if I mentioned it here or not, but Pete and I are starting a little art project. Partly for the parish fair and partly because we can. They are selling modern artwork for quite a bit of money, and how can put a price of art anyway? :P We just thought if we can combine Pete's poetry with my calligraphy, it might just work...

Well, I don't know. It sounded interesting enough to try anyway. :P

Deep thoughts

So I thought my supervisor is going to be telling me to think about the equations more to see which one makes more sense, but apparently he was very impressed with my interpretation of the equation and said I can play with Matlab instead for this week and I can finally read papers and stuff after that! I was almost in shock after that meeting. I'm actually doing something.

I haven't heard from a friend of mine for quite a while. And yesterday he replied my email saying he's been sick and waiting for more blood test in November. Sometimes I just don't quite know how to reply that. I mean, "I'm sure you'll be fine" doesn't quite cover it does it? He doesn't look all that sick last I saw him. But for him to not be online for this long (and you know us engineers with being online), I'm seriously worried. He's always been a bit morbid, so it's hard to tell whether he's being serious when he says he's dying (of course he always pointed out everyone of us has been slowly dying from the day we're born). Sometimes people think we're still too young to think about death. But then again, it's one of very few thigns that you can be certain of. Just to ignore it isn't making it to go away.

I sometimes suffer from the curse of being way too logical and "scientific", while trying to be at the same time spiritual. I beleive each of us has a soul and one day we'll arrive in heaven. Whether it's just a state of being or a real "place" where soul rests. I believe that you'll meet up with everyone you love in heaven again. Then of course I start to think where is this "soul" coming from? We know our thoughts, memories, and emotions are just electrical signals in that brain of ours, well give of take some chemical and all. How does that translate to a soul? Will we still have our memories when our souls depart?

Thoughts like that can go a lot deeper. And I suppose I probably should stop that sorta thought right now, and grab myself some food. Still haven't had breakie, and I want to come back home in time for Dr Phil. :P

Back to square one

Okay, remember how I said I think I've reached enlightenment? I haven't. Far from it. I've found two versions of the equations, both quoted in different sources. I thought maybe there's a typo in one until I've found about half the sources quoting one and theother one quoted the other. So I tried to fit the equation into the "bigger scheme of things" and hope that fits, and of course you get into all sorts of problems because of how the equations is defined. *sigh*

Anyway, it's going to be a LONG road to enlightenment. I'm still trying me best to figure out which one makes more sense. Otherwise I'm seeing my supervisor today anyway, so maybe he can shine some light into it. (Or tell me I'm not working hard enough :P)

Nonlunarversary... and ranting

Pete and I have been together for nine months now. :)

Okay, now that you guys finished saying "awwww" and be truely happy about this perfect match, I have to whine and complain again :P

Gouemon Japanese Restuarant, in Half Moon Bay: Don't go there. Last night a group of my highschool friends and myself chose there as our "mini-reunion" place, and boy was the service bad! I decided not to compain about serving size because let's face it: Japanese food is never known to be filling. But half a bowl of rice for a set meal? What do they think we're all anorexic? (I just complained about the serving size didn't I? Oops :P)

That aside: the service was the worst I've seen in a LONG time. I've had better service at McDonalds. One of the waitresses "serving" us (and I'm using the word "serving" very loosely here) was not only rude, she decided to dump the dish on the table, and tell us "it's for her". Well, since when does the waitress command the customers anyway? And then there's the fact that she spilled a whole tray of miso soup on my back, when I was wearing a WHITE top?? And spilled it on my new black coat! They didn't even offer to pay for my dry cleaning bill, or pay for the meal, not even a discount!

Pete and I were so grumpy (not to mention still hungry) afterwards that we went to Denny's to have a decent dessert.

On the whole: I'm outraged! Otherwise I wouldn't have come online and update my blog on a Saturday. Spread the word and stop people going there. o_O I'm going to Daikoku instead. They have teppanyaki prawn there too anyway.

/better stick to Italian food...

Now for something completely different

So yesterday instead trying to research and reach enlightenment, I spend a good half of yesterday's afternoon changing the look of my computer. :P Pretty theme, and change the skin of whatever I can. It's a lot darker and a lot more suited to me now I think. I suppose I do like darker colours.

Then I'm having a dilemma about which ringtone to download. I like changes every now and then. Again, the attention span of a ferret doesn't help. Really need new things constantly to keep me going.

Anyway, back to work. Think I've already wasted enough time as it is.

The Vicious Sleep Cycle

I couldn't sleep last night. Mainly due to the fact that I woke up around noon yesterday. That means I didn't get to sleep until late, and didn't wake up today til 11:30, again.

It's a vicious cycle. I need to find an excuse to wake up early. An excuse good enough so I'd stick to it. Just saying "I'll wake up early to work" doesn't quite work, because I'll just tell myself "meh, I'll sleep for a bit longer and work harder instead".

I remember ages and ages ago I used to get up ridiculously early every Sunday just to go to mass, because there's a cute boy there. Sad as it might be it's the kind of logic a 13 year old would follow. Idon't really get motivated to get up to see cute guys anymore, so I guess I'd need a better motivation.

I tried McDonalds breakfast. That didn't work. I tried to tell myself if I get up early I can have bacon for breakfast. That didn't work either. So obviously food isn't gonna do it (heck, if bacon fails nothing can wake me up).

It's hard, to think of something that'd motivate me to wake up early. Doesn't help that I rate sleep above almost everything. *sigh*... maybe I will just have to make it up by working a lot faster and more efficient...

More distractions than you can shake a stick at!

Seriously, I thought by staying at home I won't be as distracted. Most of the time I'm at uni I'm either chatting with other people or lining up to buy coffee. Home is quiet. I got all I need here, and I'm STILL distracted.

What I really need is an office with absolutely NOTHING but a text book, pen and paper, and a computer that runs nothing but Matlab. Actually, I'll most likely STILL be distracted. I have the attention span of a ferret.

So far today I've watched a bit of Dr Phil, went out have lunch, and renewed my IEEE membership. Lame? Yeah pretty much. I'm still hoping I can finish my intro thingy today which summarise my quest to enlightenment so far.

Anyway, back to work I go...

Gilmore Girls

So, I was gonna go out for lunch until I found new stock of instant noodles at home (Seafood and XO sauce. Can you blame me?) I was watching Dr Phil while I was eating it, and thought I'll channel surf a little until I finish my lunch. Then there it was, on TV2: Gilmore Girls. The older stuff that I missed. It was the episode when Dean broke up with Rory the first time.

It's almost bitter sweet, remembering the first heartbreak. Sometimes I still wonder how he's doing now. Although some may argue that it's just to get back at him (well, maybe it's partly that), I sometimes wonder whether he's doing fine. I still see him around the labs sometimes. Just a shadow that dodges my line of vision. Doubt he'd like to catch up anyway.

Am I still mad at him? I really don't know. I know I was crying for a LONG time, but it's been so long ago though that it just doesn't really matter anymore. (Besides I'm insanely happy right now.) Sometimes I wonder if we could still be good friends should nothing happened. Then again, should that never happened I probably won't even know Pete. Life's funny like that isn't it? So there you go.

Anyway, away from the memory lane, this week is going to be a productive week. Mark my words. Supervisor wants me to do a short informal presentation to him about my progress so far and explain what where I'm up to so far. At least I have something to work towards to.

Monday ranting

So. How was everyone's weekend? What do people think about Dick Hubbard becoming the new Auckland Mayor? Anyone else living under the Manukau districts think it's unfair that we don't have a say?

Not that I have anything against Hubbard. In fact I think it's wonderful. No more stupid V8 racing in Auckland central. I mean, what were they thinking when they proposed the idea anyway? Were they even thinking? As if traffic isn't bad enough already. I still think Hubbard should consider giving out cereal as a reward for not
driving and using public transport. For a box of his feijoa cereal, I can bus into uni.

Anyway, Monday morning as usual is kinda slow. I'm just reading my notes at the moment, refreashing my little head as to what exactly I did for the past 2 weeks. I didn't think I did much but once I read my notes, it's quite a bit of reading there. And A LOT of icky maths.

Walked in from Mt Eden today and that helps me to wake up. The idea that I MIGHT get my laptop today helps too. Although I won't hope for too much. I've been disappointed way too many times. At this rate Petey might get his laptop from work before I do. And he works for the church. (No offence. But I'd expect the engineering department to be slightly more efficient when it comes to getting computer equiptment than, say, the Catholic church.)

Blah blah blah, still hoping it'd be a long week ahead, which means being productive. Wishful thinking. I know.

/Still don't have a clue who won the Manukau mayor election...

The convenience of technology

Read on Slashdot today that Google is starting an SMS search service. Before you guys all get paranoid about Google assessing your SMS: no, it's searching on the go using SMS message.

I particularily like the points they've listed as to "why you should use Goggle SMS". That includes "Look up dictionary definitions to expand your vocabulary or prove a point." Charming. Can you imagine having a heated argument with someone and they have to consult their cell phone every so often to make a point? (George W Bush should take notes on this service. Surly it'll save a lot of embarrassment should he actually knows what the big words that the reporters are using.)

I do think that Google search might actually be useful though, for things like finding restaurants and checking out prices when shopping. Although it's one of those technology that makes me think whether technology is really spoiling us.

There's a very fine line between convenience and absurdness. Look at the toilet in Japan which lets you regulate the temperature of the toilet seat. Some folks might consider that as being convenient. Others decided it's crazy, and rather not sit on a warm toilet seat. Where to draw the line?

Nowadays, everything is all "mobilised" and information just follows wherever you go. I don't really know whether it's a good thing. Surely it saves time. But for what? What are we doing with all these time that are "saved"? it's not like we do much anyway, and now even when we're shopping we can do that at the comfort of our own home, they would even deliver the goods to our doorsteps. All these convenience... for what? Not like I'm getting enough exercise, I was counting on shopping to be my main source of exercise.

Maybe I can blame the advance in technology for my weight.

Random Research Poem

Numbers, symbols, Greek alphabets
The integral signs did nothing to integrate them
They remain as they are
Their meanings still obscure
The train of thoughts starts to wonder
Signals transform into patterns
Patterns slowly fading
Image of the coming weekend appears
Shake head
Breathe
Concentrate
The pen moves my hand into doodles
Shake head
Breathe
Concentrate
The function domains dance in my head
Miss frequency is changing partner from time to Doppler
Shake head
Breathe
Concentrate
Time wasted on blogs
Another sip of tea
And behold
It's 5 o'clock.

Three-month report

I've been stressed out for a wee while now. Partly because three months is almost up and my supervisor is writing my 3-months report soon. My output for the research is currently zilch. But he assure me that for 3 months, he didn't really expect me to have done much. I would've been lucky enough if I can get the whole time-frequency analysis thing around my head.

Honestly: what do they expect us to do in 3 months? Most of the time for a PhD we don't even know for sure what the topic is going to be. 3 months has enough time for us to read up on things and try a few things on Matlab. That's about it. Even my surprivisor thought it's just silly to require a report within 3 months.

Ah well, less typing and more reading. Gonna try to finish the chapter I'm on today, and then try my best to summarise everything I've done once my supervisor is back.

Rock on!

The life of a postgrad research student when the supervisor is away consist of A LOT of time wasting. TV watching is one of my favourite "pass time". (As is "passing time so I don't have to read about maths.) And today on Dr. Phil, a mother wonders whether it'd be a good idea for the 11 year old daughter to get a electric guitar for christmas. And I'm so impressed that Dr. Phil actually agree and bought the electric guitar for her!

Really, rock music is not "evil". Goth is not evil. I found it annoying when the mother in that show keep saying "I'm just worried that she might start dressing in Goth and turn into a rock star." What's wrong with dressing in Goth? It's a lot better than dressing in slut-wear. Just because it's black and a bit morbid does not make it "evil". Okay, so I hear you say "they're druggies!" Well, put it this way: if they're going to do drugs, they're going to do drugs whether they're dressed in Goth or not. Doing drugs probably doesn't mean they're "evil" either. You got to ask yourselves why people are into drugs at the first place.

I went through the whole dress in black phase too. Just because people like the darker shades and steer away from mainstream doesn't not make them freaks.

The world will be a better place if we'd just learn to live with everyone else. Really. Trust me.

Email Etiquette

Okay, it's time for yet another etiquette lesson.

Now, email is not something you want to abuse. People nowadays don't have all that much time. Spamming is bad, mmmkay? When people is organising something, sit back, let the people do the organising, and just reply to that person and not the whole group. Unless the informaion is interesting to everyone, including those who doesn't care as long as they get the date and time and place, don't send it to everyone.

It's not an efficient way to orgainse things. People will skim read because there's too much information and not enough time. The fact that someone is organising means that they are supposed to keep track of who replied and who hasn't.

*sigh*

Back to TRYING to get something done. I'm determined to have a lot done by the time my supervisor is back from his conference. Just something nice and impressive. Fat chance of that happening, but won't hurt to try... :P

Unproductive, again

So I've decided that I can't stand the year's worth of ironing piling up in my mum's room and decided to actually take of the task. In this household people have this idea that if you pile up ironing for long enough someone will come around and do it. Well, then again I never really mind to do the ironing, just that I never seem to remember to do so. Ah well, that's almost a whole day gone. At least now people have shirts and blouses again.

Anyway, gonna try to increase productivity soon and do some reading. I hate slow weeks. It sometimes scares me that I haven't done much at all...

Words So Leisured

Continue on with my obsession with Franz Ferdinand: one of their tracks on the bonus disc called "Words So Leisured", which has the same tune and almost the same lyrics as "Darts of Pleasure", is just way too cool. It's very different from the stuff on the rest of the album. Mainly piano and guitar accompany, and the vocal got rid of the garage rock voice and sing the whole song with a deep sexy tone. Almsot jazz like and just way too nice to be stuck as being on the "bonus disc". :P

Anyway. Watched little babies having EEG taken this morning. The little baby is just oh so cute. I tried very hard not to baby talk to him. He's a healthy one, they just need to test the equiptment rather than testing him. It's just peaceful, watching him sleep. Okay so the "electrodes are stuck to his head part" might make it just ever so slightly less cute but still. I also got told I'm not going to be allowed to setup the equiptment, which means I can't actually touch the babies. Ah well.

Starting to get hungry again... don't like early starts.

Early start?!

ARGH! Just got an email from my psuedo-boss that he wants to meet me at the hospital at 8am to see a baby having EEG taken. It's for my PhD thesis, got no excuse to get out of it besides "it's too early" which isn't a nice excuse. So I guess it's early day for me tomorrow then.

I'm too used to waking up at noon now. Bugger. Really need to re-adjust my body clock. That's the problem with doing research, and scheduling your own time. Although once I have the laptop hopefully that means I can work wherever I want and I might start to force myself going to work or to uni.

Really need to get the working habbit up and running again... yikes!

Lazy Tuesday

Woke up at noon today. It's like all the energy has been drained out of me. But if my supervisor is happy about my progress, maybe I had almost reached enlightenment, and maybe I can take a wee break.

Oh, CD review time:

I bought the Lazy Sunday box set the other day. And it's worth every cent I spent! Anyone who likes jazz and blues it's perfect for them. The box set has 6 CDs, big names include Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Peggy Lee, the lot. It also got instrumental tracks for people who like instrumental stuff better. It's the kinda tracks you can just pop into your CD player, and loop it and sit back and relax. Man I wish I have a multi CD changer, pop the lot in and that's my day's worth of music done. :D

Another CD I like to advertise is Franz Ferdinand. Petey got that one for me and after I've listened to Dark of the Martinee for the umpteenth time I've decided to just hit shuffle and repeat all. I think I might have found my next favourite band. No it's not just because of the Scottish accent that they might have (It's so nice though. *sigh*.... *ahem* anyway). They're quirky, they're just so charmingly unique.

Anyway, that's all the review I'm gonna do for a while. Not like I can write much about music anyway. I know what I like but it's hard to put into words. Probably better if I start working.. err.. soonish :P

The meaning of Life

It's almost 10:30. I've been in uni for more than an hour
and a half. I just read a few pages of Craccum. I have a
box a milky green tea and a milo energy bar on my desk.
The equations on the wall are looking more and more like
a collection of squiggles, staring back at me almost
mockingly. I know I should start working soon. I really
should. Then again, if I rather read Craccum, of all things,
than working, I doubt I'll start working anytime soon.

Anyway. Spoilers to follow for the movie Nemesis Game. Don't
say I didn't warn you.

Watched Nemesis Game last night. Pretty good movie if not
just a bit strange, and loose ended if I may say. I still
think they could've done a bit better on the whole meaning
of life thing. I think it's a good concept that's not
carried far enough. Playing a riddle game in search of the
meaning of life sounded to me like it can go far. Although,
I suppose the main point (or the lack of it) is there.

Rather a pathetic point of view isn't it? Predetermined fate
is something I've been reluctant to accept. Maybe I'm too
afraid to think of the implication. The idea that whatever
you do is part of the big plan and you have no control of it
is rather terrifying. It's also irresponsible. Although,
sometimes when you look at life, it does at times seems like
they're all pieces of a puzzle. They all fit together to show
where you are now. Is it a matter of cause and effect? Or is
it all in a plan?

How about if we just focus on what's really important, rather
than speculate on the meaning of life?

Limpy

Okay, the story goes I was early to lunch yesterday, so I thought I'll cross the street just in front of the cafe that I'm supposed to meet my friends, and get some shopping done. Little did I know that there's this thing called a curb. So down I go and the familiar "click" was felt in my ankle. Tried to stand up and yup, I sprang my ankle alright.

Of course after lunch I still have to get back to uni. From High Street. Ouch.

I was also lucky enough to have committed myself to go out last night AND tonight. Not to mention the two nights was with completely different group of friends and we're going to the same restaurant. I wonder if the waitress can recognize us.

Bumped into a friend in front of the restaurant last night, he was waiting for his bus there. I just hope I won't bump into him again tonight, it's a wee bit hard to explain why we'll go to the same restaurant two nights in a row.

Except maybe just "food is good".

Anyhow. Limping my way back to my search of enlightenment. Wish me luck!

Coffee & TV

*yawn*

I"m in my lab at the moment. So very sleepy and tired. Although
I dare say that I think I'm very close to enlightenment now. I
found another source of equations where it's expressed in yet
another set of variables but this time everything's not only
consistent but it's actually possible to derive from one
equation to another. Horrah!

I haven't notice it before, but it seems like I've stopped using
coffee to wake myself up for a while. Until recently. I wonder
why I stopped in the first place. Have I not been waking up in
the morning for that long? Have I really took advantage of the
flexible timetabling of a research postgrad for too long? Or
maybe I just can't be bothered because it's no longer free.
Whatever the reason, I'm not too sure whether I should be happy
that I'm back to the coffee drinking. It's addictive you know.

Not much to do with TV in this post. It's just that I'm drinking
coffee and whenever I'm drinking coffee, that song just plays in
my head.

Maybe I should just play that song to wake me up.

The annoyance that is "LOL"

Okay, I've just about had it.

Everyone, repeat after me: "Just because we're only writing an email, or chatting online, it DOES NOT mean we have to talk like a moron. It does not mean that grammatical rules and general common sense and conversational skill is redundant."

Granted when you are chatting in real time you might prefer to ignore such rules as capitalising the first letter of the sentence because you don't want whoever you're talking to to wait too long. But seriously, the state of the English language has forever been going downhill since the invention of internet. It's possibly the worse thing happened to the language after the American decided to reinvent spelling rules.

Okay, here are a few guidelines to not be a moron while online:

1. "LOL" does NOT equal to a fullstop. In fact it's not even a punctuation. Honestly I have never really heard a joke from an email that is so funny that it made me laugh out loud. Do this simple exercise with me: whenever you feel the urge to type "lol", listen VERY hard to see whether you are in fact laughing out loud. If not, don't type it. Personally I prefer people to type "Haha". Even better if it's in brackets.
   
2. Just because you're online does not mean you can reinvent English lanaguage. I got told off for shocking grammar in emails (Granted. Most of the time it's actually my mild dyslexia playing up. Unless I know what I'm looking at, sometimes I'll mix up words... anyway enough about myself), and yet you see people completely disregard the punctuation and grammar rules, and get away with it. Grrrr.
   
3. SPELLING. Really. Show they world you're literate by using the correct spelling. Anyone using abbreviation just to save typing time will have to explain to me how much they are paying per character they're typing. Because that would be the only reason why you want to type less characters.
   
4. Oh, and anyone who alternate capital letters and lowercase should be shot.
   

Frankly, for someone with English as a second language (okay, so it's almost my first...) to point this out is a disgrace to any native speaker. The faceless form of communication that the internet provides makes people think it's okay to be an illiterate moron. No, it's not okay. Everytime you type something, just remember it's still represent who you are. Sound the words out in your head. This is what others hear in their head. Occational typos in unavoidable, but do try your best not to sound like a moron. Please.

Enlightenment: Part 2

No one said the road to enlightenment was going to be easy. So yesterday I stared at the equations, read other references, and found another version of the equations in a set of variables that actually makes sense (i.e. the few equations in question has consistent variables. So what's t in one equation is still t in the next one). And it helps. A LOT. Never underestimate the power of "the other prepective".

Downloaded Firefox and Thunderbird yesterday, partly because I can't be bothered thinking about maths, partly because I'd probbaly be under pressure if I don't, partly becasue my install of mozilla is playing up anyway, partly because it sounds a lot better. And it is. Things are very intuitive and that's saying something when it comes from me... know how bizaare my train of thought normally is.

Anyway, motivation is still at an all time low. I'll have to keep staring at equations...

Enlightenment

The meeting with my supervisor yesterday was almost confusing. For all my engineering career I've been told that we need to know how to get things to work (ie: which equations to use) but not why it works (ie: what those equations actually mean). Yesterday my dream has been shattered when my supervisor told me it's not enough to know what the equations do. I am to write the equations out and think about it and meditate until I've reached enlightenment and can actually tell him what all the terms in the equations does and how it affect the signal.

The most inportant equation (written on my white board at the moment) involve a triple integral over a formula which has 3 different variables that stands for time (and 2 for frequency, but that I can haddle.)

ARGH!

**WARNING: mindless conversation to self to follow. It WILL involve signal processing. You have been warned.

Okay. Calm down Lisa. Look at the equation. It's like a Fourier transofrm over the ambiguity fuction, and added the kernel... okay why the HECK is there an u as well?? I thought t and tau took care of time... where did u come from? Calm down... step at a time... what the fuck does the ambiguity function MEAN?? Ok... slow down... watch your breathing... look deep into the symbols... now. Visualise the signal and see the function dissolving the signal into it's time and frequency components... just like Fourier transform... but in time as well... now look at the ambiguity functions... ok I'm lost...

/back to the search of enlightenment.

Come on and take a look outside

Horrah! Pacifier is no more and Shihad's going to call themslves Shihad again! I still don't think a band like them should compromise their identity and change their name just because some Americans think their name sounds like jihad. That's like saying they should change the name of the second LotR movie just because "The Two Towers" remind them too much of the twin tower. The world is bigger than you think. Group up, and stop being so self centered.

Anyway, feeling much better now and I think it's time to really get some work done and show the world what I'm capable off. (Before my enthusiasm runs out again.)

Well I guess this is growing up

I think I've really grown up. Instead of dragging my sick body into uni to see the open day just to see my ex still doing his final year project presentation and rub it in his face the fact that I'm doing my PhD, I've decided to stay home and try to get better.

I guess I've given up trying to get back at him now. I mean, it really is a long time ago. (Wow... it'd been 4 years!) Some scar doesn't heal I suppose, but this time maybe I'll just let it go.

Besides, there's always the graduation... :P

But really, I doubt I've ever really wanting THIS badly to just show an ex just what he's missing, just how stupid he was for dumping me. Granted none of my other ex went into such extreme and hurt me that bad. But you just got to wonder I have to like him quite a lot to actually be hurt this badly. But ah well, he made his choice. And I'm more mature than that. Besides, I'm the one who's insanely happy all of the time... well, better if I'm not coughing like mad but still. So I'm not the one who lose out really...

Burglar trap

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Beauty is only skin deep

The other night I was on my way home and Bomber was on the radio, he said something that I was meaning to share here but keep putting off (thanks to more urgent news like a friggin cold).

It goes something like this: (paraphrasing, like, a lot)

Everyday on TV, on the street, in magazine, in shops, we're being fed with this idea of what the society norm is. We see how people live, how they dress, and we start to compare ourselves with "them". The damage this does to one's self esteem is horrific. Everyday we're bombard with advertising to tell us that we are not good enough, that we need their product to match the "norm". All you gentlemen out there (note: Bomber's words, not mine): everyday tell your girlfriend or your wife that she's beautiful, because everyday there's a million-dollar industry out there trying to convince her otherwise.

End of paraphrasing. :)

I'm blessed with a boyfriend who tell me I'm beautiful the way I am and try to convince me that I don't need to lose weight. But when I look around me, everyone's promoting this "norm", this ideal. It's only when I shop for clothes when the shop is having a sales that I realise my size is almost always the first to go. That I'm actually normal. It's scary isn't it? The whole world thinks you have to be skinny to be normal.

There's a reason why I don't get beauty pagent, or rather I just don't agree with it. It's like saying if you're a girl all that matter is your weight, your measurment, and how you look. They kept saying it's about more than that. Sure, that's why Miss Universe will always include a clip of every contestants in swimsuit and bending down. That's why the talent quest is mostly people dancing, singing, or doing some lame magic trick. Kudos to those who can actually plan a musical instrument there, but I'm still waiting for those show to actually let the contestant show REAL talent. A while ago a postgrad in engineering from MIT got into Miss USA, and I really hope she didn't play dumb to get there. If I were her I'd solve a second order PDE on the spot... okay maybe not, my calculus is a bit rusty. But at least I can show my neural network learning machine. Either way, I say beauty pagent is a degrade for woman. In fact Pete mention that it's degrading for men too. Kinda also reduce them to some shallow perves. After all, it doesn't matter how well you sing or dance or solve your second order PDE, it's the chick "with the biggest tits who wins" (Pete's words, not mine). And what is that saying about men?

Stand up for yourselves. Show the world that it's not the superficial stuff that matters. Tell people that we're all individual, and that you yourselves are special. Tell yourselve than you're a beautiful being made in God's image. Don't let the society reduce you to a pretty doll. We don't need to be Barbie or Ken to be loved. Don't give in the to peer pressure and try to archive the "norm" that those multi-million company try to trick you into believing. Think for yourselves. Don't EVER become a sheep.

/told you mainstream sucks...

Chicken soup

Nothing feels better than drinking chicken soup while you're having a cold. Really.

My mum used to get annoy at me, since Chinese thinks you shouldn't have chicken when you're having a cold/flu. So last night she decided to make some Chinese soup/tea/whatnot for me. And then comes the problem: am I having a "heat" cold or a "cold" cold?

Apperantly, it's of the utter most importance to figure out whether it's a heat cold or a cold cold. Because what's good for one would make the other worse. So we looked up the symptoms. Heat cold: red eyes... check. Eye pain... check. Maybe I'm having a heat cold... no no... for the cold cold: cold hands and feet... check. Loss of appettite... check. Oh dear.

At the end my mum and I decided that it's more probable to be a cold cold, cause it was probably slightly more accurate.

And behold: this morning my cold's gone worse...

Sometimes, you just can't win. And I bet you if she makes the stuff for the heat cold today, it'd also make it worse. Mark me words.

/going back to chicken soup.

Of love and offering and all the other stupid things

Still in lab. Still don't feel like working. At least I"m conscious now, so that's an improvement.

Physically I'm not feeling TOO sick, but the coughing and body ache serves as a constant reminder that I"m not feeling well. Doesn't matter that I've finally stared at the equations for long enough to understand them. I'm still sick.

That's ok, Pete's picking me up after my meeting. Then I can go home and rest. :P

A friend of mine asked me last night whether I would think it's okay for her to go out with her ex without going stable again. The concept on its own is a bit weird, if you think about it. In essence it's exclusive, but without the commitment and you can't quite call him a boyfriend. Kinda remind me of myself about a year ago really.

Now, do I think it's okay? The thing is, if the two of them are happy together, I don't see why they aren't, or if there's any reason why they shouldn't. The fact that neither of them want to commit sound to me like a warning sign.

Then again, relationship are never that straight forward. (With possibly the exception of me and Pete, and *touchwood* we're hoping it'd stay this way.) Obviously they have their own reason to avoid being committed, and if they are happy as they are now, I don't see there's a problem.

Speaking from personal experience, the risk lies in the excessive emotional investment. The idea that one day you would have to pull out. Even when both parties expected it, it still hurts. Oh yes it does.

I'm not even gonna go into what happen if one of them moves on.

That question my friend asked really hit me in a sense, because I was there. And now I'm thinking: If I am to start all over again, would I have done it all the same.

A long fogotten feeling about a long forgotten story.

Knowing the outcome: probably not. Although I was truly happy for a while.

And life is just a pursuit of happiness.

In a way I'm glad Keane's Somewhere only we know didn't come out earlier. That would be the song of the story that used to be.

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

I'm glad I can now just like the song for the melancholic song that it is.

PS: Probably quite obvious, I'm just very happy about where I am now. Happy people are selfish, hopefully the above article didn't hurt anyone... espeically those still needs to decide.

PPS: And to my one and only, Thank you for making me happy. :)

Body ache and work...

First day back in uni. I'm still pretty darn sick. Barely holding
up really. I might have to go get something to eat soon, possibly
get some panadol too, if I can be bothered. Hopefully I can get
the rest of the week "off", meaning working from home. I'll probably
go back to work next week or something but man... working while
sick is so annoying...

Does Lara Croft ever get sick?

No seriously, does she?

Went to a costume party last night, and I was dressed as Lara Croft (Pete was Indiana Jones. :P That was kidna cool). Of course that would require me to wear hot shorts and a tank top. Despite of the fact that I was wearing a rather think jacket, I still caught a cold.

At least that's what I'm blaming it on.

Which brings a very valid question: how can Lara Croft wonder around in tombs and stuff (which I thought would be cold but I might be wrong) and not get a cold?

Maybe I'm just weak.

/Lara Croft now gets back to looking after the sick Indiana Jones...

Lost in Equations

It's amazing what you can find out about what you don't know just by doing a PhD. Honestly, I always thought my maths was my forte but it's really once you start reading paper and confused about the symbols that they are using that you realise something is wrong. Something is terribly, horribly wrong. My supervisor always comment that we're not doing enough maths in engineering, esepcially if you compare our syllabus with the stuff outside. But really. For something like me to get to postgrad doing sig pro and with THIS much gap in my maths, something isn't quite right.

One theory is that with the amount of help one can get with computers nowadays, mathematics is almost redundant. But computer is just a tool. It cannot replace mathematics. True, sometimes you can get away with not knowing exactly what the formula does and still get a result, but to understand what the formula is doing, or even to improve on the method and optimise things, you still need to go back to the mathematics and work from there.

Hopefully it'll all make sense at some stage. It always does. Just need to focus.

Quick note:

Photos from the trip are now available at http://www.clubphoto.com under the email pingu_liz@hotmail.com

Research Progress

*Sigh*...

I've half-heartedly downloaded all the papers in that magazine that my supervisor AND my psuedo-boss suggest I should look at. In the state I'm at now, it's very hard to concentrate. I really think I've caught a cold, but it's so hard to prove so since I'm not getting a headache or anything. Just general dizziness, blocked nose, and sore joints everywhere. Ouch.

Think I might head into uni later, just to hear all those final year project talks. And claim that as "doing some work".

I might have to take tomorrow off as well at this rate. Just to make sure at least that I can get back to working properly next week.

As a parting thought: Love is a verb. Love is a doing word.

Yes I'm listening to Massive Attack. What's your point?

/and the sick girl sinks back into her reading...

Sickie...

Yes, I'm sick again.

I don't know whether it's jet jag, just being tired, or what, but I'm feeling sick again.

I kept thinking I'm having a fever, but I don't know; the thermometer said I'm fine. *sigh*...

Lots of tea and rest should do the trick.

Old love song

Ever played an old song and then some very distant memory and feeling just come back up? It can be very vivid or very very vague. The first crush, or rather, the feeling you felt when you had your first crush. The first time you held hands, the first love, the first kiss.

Alternatively, the song can also bring up the first rejection, the first breakup, the first time someone cheated on you, or just simply: the first heartbreak.

I once tried to listen to the same song over and over again, to the point I just break down in tears. The same song now seems a bit... distant.

Not to mention I realise I deleted a few songs off my computer. And I'm kicking myself for it. Old songs are sometimes hard to find, especially the older Glay stuff.

Maybe it's a sign of healing, the fact that I can listen to those songs again, and actually just treat it as music rather than a reminder of the heartbreaks. Some of them are quite nice too, sorta bring back the feeling of being young and carefree.

Alright, after SMAP's Celery, I'll come back to 2004 and listen to the The Dark of the Martinee. :P

Saving account

Yes. You read it right. I'm getting a saving account. One gives a grand total of one free transaction and chargs 5 bucks for everything after that.

I wonder how long it'd take me (well, and Pete) to save up to buy a house. Housing prices keep going up, with no signs of coming down again. Sigh. Curse you! Curse the population growth!!

I'm still a bit out of it at the moment really. I was going out to the bank and all today and I was still very dizzy, so I've decided to go to a book shop instead of driving home. There are quite a few books on the death of public language really. Ironic isn't it? Here I am, with English as my second language, defending English and cursing at people who don't respect it. One more misuse of "its" or "it's", I'm going to scream. In the words of Strong Bad "I'll kill you! I'll kill you all!! I'll kill all your dogs!!!"

Ahem, all extreme attitude aside: gramma rules should be respected. Language is an art and should be preserved. Although I can see this art dying.

I'm turning into my ex-boyfriend and becoming a grammar police! Noooooooooooo

Recovery

Yay! I think I'm slowly recovering. At least I can spend less than half the day in bed. Man, someone have got to warn me next time before I've decided to spend a day and a half on a plane or in transit.

I've just managed to unpack. The trip just seems so long ago now, which is a shame really. But having said that I'm still not really in a working mood. Then again am I ever in a working mood?

I've also almost finish the book "Eat, Shoots and Leaves". Great book that one. You wouldn't think a book on punctuations would be that interesting and entertaining, but it is. Also taught me how to use semicolon and the colon properly. Probably did a better job than any teacher I've had who's attempted that task.

Actually... did any of them attempted that task at all?

Life's still going a bit slow, after all the excitment from the trip. Hopefully once I decided to start working again it'll get better.

Jet lagged

Yes I'm back, and terribly jet lagged.

The last leg of the trip was a killer. We left Paris on the Monday afternoon, back to England, then off to Tokyo, then they flew us to Christchruch before I'm back in Auckland. Most of yesterday was spent unconcious in my bed. I'm thinking I'm a bit better now. I think

Paris was amazing, despite of the number of people telling us not to expect much. I suppose having Pete with me helps to enhance the ormantic atmosphere there. :)

Pictures to follow once I've uploaded them. :) Meanwhile, I'll nurse myself back to health from jet lag. :)

Sore Feet and Old Buildings

Cambridge is FANTASTIC, if not a wee bit too big and walking WAY too much. The buildings are like stuff from a film set. It really is impressive. But when you've stand for about 3 hours next to your poster and then walk around, it's a bit tiring.

Only hing I have to complain is that they don't have hot water in the showers. Grrrr. I know Cambridge is an old city and all but still.

Anyway, James is supposed to be cooking for us now. And Pete needs to check his email. If I survive James' cooking I'll update this later ;)

Brush walks

I know! I've been to a few brush walks over here in Bonsall. It's scary really, to think I'm actually doing some walking. PROPER walking. Pete took a picture of me while we were there, and I'll have to show that to people. :)

Last day in Bonsall really, tomorrow it's back to Cambridge. Probably do more reporting goodness while I'm there. :)

Right now though, I'm a wee bit too tired to keep typing. :P

Time Warp

Yes I'm in England, in case you're wondering. :)

It's been about 4 days now, and I think I'm slowly adjusting to the time differences. All 11 hours of it. The key is to actually not sleep even if you're tired until the sky is dark. I can't wait til I'm back to NZ and do this all over again (*sarcasm*).

Anyway, England is fantastic so far. Seen lots of old houses that were built when NZ is still inhabited by kiwis, the birds. Weather's a bit sad though, as one would expect in England.

Been to Cambridge when we first arrive. And it was SO pretty. So very pretty. Although knowing me and how picky I am when it comes to bathrooms and stuff... I probably won't want to live there. But just going around and all it's really great. I'll take more picture when I'm back there in a few day's time.

Right now I'm in this little village called Bonsall, where Pete's uncle and his family lives. Again, it's SO pretty. Stone houses everywhere, and it's just so... England. :) We've been around to a few big houses (and by big I meant HUGE, in captials) and a village church, and it's been great.

Food wise it's not too bad. We've only really ate at a pub once, but I can see more of that happening once we're back in Cambridge. Really should learn to drink better but meh: I'll take it one day at a time.

That's it from me for now. It's been another rainy day here, but we might head to a pub for dinner tonight and see how things go. :)

Last minute packing

I got a feeling I finish packing... well almost. Besides all those stuff like toothbrush which I have to pack last minutes.

Other than that: I'm all good to go. I just need to relax a bit... :P

Will try to update this when I'm away. If I can't, I'll update this when I get back. :P

To pack, or not to pack...

I'm the kind of people who stress about everything. Especially when it come to overseas trip. Now I'm thinking I should start packing, but there are a lot of things you can't pack until the last minutes you know, like toothbrush, or even my shampoo and stuff. But then if I've already packed 3 days in advance then maybe I wouldn't remember them since I would have the impression that I've already packed. ARGH! The dilemma!

Other things I stress about include little things like how to get my daily dose of tea, whether they'll mess up the baggages, how I'm going to survive in Paris without speaking French, how to check my email over there... the list is endless :P I' should be able to update my blog using my mobile though... I think. I hope. :P

Still ridiculously tired, mainly because I've been out every night for the.. I dunno... probably 5 nights in a row actually. Wow. But I get to sleep in today, and that's good. :) And I got a feeling I'll start packing, just in case.

Move along now, nothing to see here.

Claiming my territory

Life as a PhD in a department where there's nowhere near enough
desks for people is tough work. Especially when you're planning
to go away for about 3 weeks and leave your desk unguarded for
that long. So I've decided to put on a notice to tell people
that I'm just going to be away for a bit and I'm not giving up my
desk. Hopefully that means I stil have a desk when I come back.

It's the last day I'm going to be in uni before I'm back from
Europe. Really though, it still hasn't really sink in. Especially
when we've planned this for so long, and now it just creeps up on
us. Not to mention that the tickets stuck at the moment and I can't
seem to be able to take it out of my drawers. I'm sure I can solve
that problem before I'm off though... I hope.

Been kinda socialised these days. Since everyone said "We should
meet up before you're off!". So Pete and I are basically meeting
with different groups of friends every nights of the week. Don't
get me wrong: it's great! And I always like to catch up with people
and talk. I'm just a wee bit tired lately that's all. Good thing is
I'm taking tomorrow and Friday off uni, just to do any last minute
shopping before we're off, as well as pack. :P And I probably
should wash my car before I'm off too. *sigh*

You know I really should stress more about the conference... :P

5 days and counting down

James just informed me that the conference's programme is already
online, so I could've just looked at it and decide whether to take
the last day off and head to Paris early or not all along. Silly,
I know. Not to mention James isn't even in the conference. :P

5 more days to go and we're off. I'm a wee bit stressed out about
packing already. I keep thinking I'll over-pack. Chances are I'll
ended up packing about 5 pairs of assorted footwear "just in case".
And how I'm going to transport the poster to England? I'm not even
going to starting talking about clothes (or bags for that matter).
And socks! I need more socks!! ARGH!

Yes, I stress too much.

Other than this stress-o-rama mania, life's pretty good. I did
manage to injure myself just before the trip though. (I tripped
on my way to uni. :P) But it's nothing too bad. Still reading
papers like mad, and that's about it really.

Curse the linefeed!

Stupid email updates makes formatting all weird.

They've decided to convert the linefeed from emails
so that they can encode it in HTML. Little did we
know that if I update this via my uni email (web-
based and all coz I'm cheap) they add a linefeed
after every end of the line. Why? I don't quite
know. It's probably be something to do with the
fact that if they don't add that the display on the
browser would be all stuffed up. In which case you
got to wonder who wrote the program for the webmail.

On a happier note: it's less than one week to go til
my trip to England. I'm kinda excited. Although I have
to say I'm also a bit stressed. The hotel we wanted has
already been booked out (the one in Paris) so I'm hoping
our second choice will still be available today. Fingers
crossed it'd be fine. Eek~!

It's going to be a busy week this week. With packing,
last minute meeting with supervisor, meeting with friends
(since everyone wants to meet up before we're off) and
whatnots. (A LOT of whatnots). Lucky I AM getting a bit
excited about the trip, otherwise it's gonna be a LONG
week.

Sleepy News

Honestly, I don't think I can get used to this whole waking up in the morning thing. But that's okay. It's the weekend. I'm allowed to sleep til noon.

I had a strange bizarre dream last night, which made me worried about myself a little. You see I'm a fan of the TV programme Scrubs. In fact I think for the past 3 seasons I've only missed half an episode. And I'm starting to dream about it. And then I dreamt about telling my boyfriend that I dreamt about that, and then we decided that it's very likely that this might just be how the show might ended up in their next season. Gosh I hope not. I just like the sarcastic janitor and that's about it... If you are wondering, I was dreaming that Carla was having an affair with JD. Don't ask.

In other news: I think they've taken tax out of my research stipend! That made me grumpy all last night. It's from a government agency anyway so why does that matter? But then again I don't know for sure that it IS indeed my stipend that I see in my account. I'm just gonna make sure it is first and THEN I'll go complain.

Ah well, 8 days til my trip to England people! This countdown thing is getting exciting. :D

New Pens!!

I still can't believe I'm going to use a pen that's not waterproof. But it's nice, comfortable, AND it comes in a set with a fineliner, a rollerball, a mechanical pencil AND a highlighter. I just thought I'll indulge myself and buy that.

Still at uni at the moment. I'm going to have a half day today though. Just because I can. That and I'm catching a ride with my brother again and he's leaving at 12.

Ah well, back to reading. For some bizarre reason I'm actually enjoying the stuff I'm reading: it's on using neural networks with time-frequency distribution. Wonder if I can use that in my project... :P